Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
