Whod you bang
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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