More tranny stories later!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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