So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
