I'm gonna have a badass scar
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
