you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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