I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Randomize
