The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
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