he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Someone signed my nipple.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
