I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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