Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
