Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
