i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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