..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
