Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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