So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
