OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
