doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
