The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
