so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
