And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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