she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm passing your future prison.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
