Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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