so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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