If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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