worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
