i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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