im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
