i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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