I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
