i don't like sucking hair
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
