Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
