yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
