u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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