new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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