dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
