Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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