Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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