have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
