I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
