I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
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