First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
