oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
