I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
