Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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