So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
