Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
