Sry I called you an 8
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
