can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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