WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
where are you?
Hypothermia
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
