I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
